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How do you take the damage done from too many bad relationships to enable a fresh start?I came into dating like a lot of young women with a challenged self-esteem from developing too early.Perhaps you hope to line up a New Year’s date, or you want to make sure you’re working towards your goal of finding a partner to have a family with before your eggs self-destruct. The love of your life could have hired James Taylor to serenade you at your favorite wine bar, and you’d still wonder if you should skip the second glass so you could get home in time for that marketing webinar. Maybe you’re worried about why you fell hard for that last guy – even though your gut told you not to – and you want to figure out a few things.

What we forget though, is that there’s no such thing as a choice without an opportunity cost, but also that if we effectively make a choice on the basis of getting something that requires that we make another choice that we will not be able to attain that something without making the uncomfortable but very necessary choice.I know what you’re thinking - “but you can do both - yoga and dating!” But here’s the thing: I don’t like doing anything unless I can do it well.Now just so we’re clear, dating and relationship hiatuses tend to be 3-6 months, sometimes longer and they are an in your future. You can let go of all the bullshit, get a clear head and some perspective so you can own your own and let others own theirs instead of taking ownership of other people’s feelings and behaviour, plus you can be free of the burden that many people give themselves of either waiting to be chosen by someone or being a performing seal and trying to convince and convert.After your ‘detox’, you can re-enter the dating world bright-eyed and bushy tailed, as well as personally secure because if you commit to your decision, you will also be far less likely to accept crumbs in future because you’ll have been a responsible provider and supporter of you – why would you accept less than what you can already do for yourself?

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